Exercise Discernment When Cleaning Out Mom & Dad’s House

January 14, 2014 | Julie Hall

Don’t take things just to take them!

Boomers, take heed. As our parents pass away, the temptation to sock away their belongings is great, but take the time to really think about what you are doing. Don’t keep it because you think your children or grandchildren might change their minds one day. Don’t get stuck paying for ludicrous storage bills that far outweigh the value of what you place inside there. Don’t fall into the trap of being a storage for your kids either. In the blink of an eye, you will be wanting to downsize; the time has come to hold yourself accountable in all of this. It’s either you who will do it or your children will do it, so why not do it for them?

TAKE only what is really special to you, because the kids will most likely not change their minds and it will be sold off for pennies on the dollar, when it falls in the hands of your children.

TAKE photographs, because they take up less space but you still have the memory of the item(s).

TAKE into consideration that if your children say “no,” they don’t want these items. They really mean “no.”

TIPS: Don’t sell, give away, or donate anything until a professional has examined it. So many boomers throw away or give away personal possessions worth a small fortune, simply because they don’t know the values. Tell everyone “no” until the appraiser has reviewed everything. The cost to pay a personal property appraiser is nothing compared to the value you could find, not to mention the peace of mind it will give you!

KEEP the following:

Anything that can provide family history.
Family heirlooms if they are wanted and will be cherished. Don’t force heirlooms on the children if their hearts aren’t in it.
All items of perceived monetary value. Hire that appraiser to find out for sure!
Family photographs
Rare or unusual items (some antiques fall into this category). If someone has room for them and wants them, that’s fine. It’s okay to sell them if no one wants them.
Jewelry. Have items appraised first for fair market value, not replacement value.
Items with historic significance. You may donate if no family wants them.
Important documents. These must be kept together until they are all sorted through by the executor.
Collections (gold, coins, guns, stamps, etc.). Always have them evaluated by a professional. It is unusual to find appraisers for different specialty collections.
Antiques, artwork, paintings, sculpture. These must be evaluated by a professional.
Military items. These items are sought by collectors but may also be vital to family history.
Safes, safety deposit boxes, and their contents. Have a key or know where keys or passwords are located.
Anything you cannot identify. Have a professional look at it for you.

Don’t take things just to take them. Select a few sentimental items that are small enough for you to use or display in your home. Great family or marital strife can develop if you take too much. Remember, the more you take now, the more your children will have to deal with later.

Julie Hall, The Estate Lady®, is the foremost national expert on personal property in estates, including liquidating, advising, and appraising. http://www.TheEstateLady.com She is also the Director of American Society of Estate Liquidators®, the national educational and resource organization for estate liquidation. http://www.aselonline.com.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

The Awakening

November 19, 2013 | Julie Hall

Just this week, I have received numerous emails from people who are very concerned about the falling values of their tangible assets and the soft market that we are currently experiencing. These emails have asked me on a personal level how I feel about this and how I explain this to my clients.

This topic has touched a lot of nerves, which is why I have written about it recently, discussing what I am seeing at antiques shows and fairs, auctions, etc. It appears that people are beginning to awaken to the message I have been hollering for years; my message is a simple one. Don’t shoot the messenger because I am being upfront and honest with you, so that you can make solid, knowledgeable decisions regarding the items you want to sell (or not).

Whether I am conducting a formal appraisal report for heirs, consulting on an estate and working with the children or their elderly parents, my comments are pretty much the same. “Let’s sit for a moment and talk about your options, which options would be best for your estate situation, and the expectations you may have about your possessions.”

The market is soft for several reasons, and the economy is just one of several problematic challenges we are all facing.
Remember that as we lose our older loved ones, their possessions are, quite literally, flooding the market with traditional household furnishings.
The problem is that there are not enough buyers for what’s coming on the market. The boomers have too much stuff and are trying to downsize. Their children have no interest in these items either.
It all comes down to the Law of Supply & Demand. Too much supply and no demand drive prices south. Have something extraordinary? Demand will be high since supply is low, and the price will be driven up.

The problem with this near-perfect synopsis of the current marketplace is what is extraordinary to you, and what is extraordinary to those of us in the industry, are two totally different things. The average person out there thinks what they have is extraordinary just because it may be labeled “antique.” This couldn’t be further from the truth and I need your help in spreading the message.

“Extraordinary” exists only rarely like a flawless diamond. The earth provides them, but very seldom. This type of item will always attract buyers with deep pockets. A 150 year old Victorian marble-top dresser will not, because they are common, dreadfully heavy, and imposing. This style has fallen out of favor and very few are buying these kinds of items. When they do, the prices are low, far lower than the owner feels it should be. Will they ever come back in fashion, or will they ever go up in value? I’m not really sure. I think it is going to be a long while before values start heading north.

Another example of extraordinary would be owning Joe DiMaggio’s uniform, with pictures of him wearing it while standing next to his wife, Marilyn Monroe, and a letter from Joe giving you this uniform. THAT’S extraordinary! You have a group of rare items along with provenance of where it came from; serious baseball collectors would be vying for it.

I have taken much time to communicate extensively with my colleagues across the U.S. to discuss the economy and its effect on our clients. When times are bad, people turn to selling hard assets, and when they can’t sell them or they sell for very little, people have a tendency to get very upset. Who could blame them? We are all in agreement that exceptional items will always sell for exceptional prices, but these are few and far between.

Is there a solution to this terrible situation that has befallen us? Sometimes I wish I had that crystal ball, but since I don’t, I would encourage all of you. When you consider selling your possessions or heirlooms, first have them professionally looked at by someone who knows exactly what they are doing, not your Aunt Betty’s neighbor or friend who dabbles in stuff. You need someone who understands not only the market, but the trends we are currently seeing from region to region.

Most of all, the best advice I can offer is to go into it with neutral expectations. I know mom always thought it was worth a fortune, but chances are it was worth a fortune to her. If mom paid $5,000 for a designer piece, look at the time period when she purchased it or had it appraised. Those days are long gone! Something is worth what someone will give you for it. It has become a buyer’s market and buyers are more frugal because they know this.

No one person, especially an estate professional, is to blame for the many reasons our market is soft, but it is up to us to educate our clients and each other. Looking forward to better days …

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

10 Commandments of Estate Behavior

October 23, 2013 | Julie Hall

With great reverence for God’s 10 commandments, here are the basic rules which should be followed in any and every estate situation. Often, we aren’t thinking clearly in the middle of the estate settlement and distribution process.

While there are no laws that pertain to human behavior when handling an estate and the distribution of property, these commandments should be “etched in stone” to remind us how we should behave.

Thou shalt not worship material possessions. They can be a monkey on your back and, ultimately, you can’t take them with you.
Greed and the love of possessions can be false idols which can, and often do, ruin families.
Don’t forget to take Sabbath for yourself. We all need time and space to breathe and reflect.
Honor your loved one that just passed away. Take actions that would respect them and make them proud.
Thou shalt not kill thy family relationships by destroying your chance to find peaceful resolutions. Mend your fences.
Do not cheat anyone, including yourself, in the estate distribution process.
Thou shalt not steal anything, even if you think no one is watching. Someone is always watching.
Thou shalt not throw thy sibling(s) under the bus. What goes around often comes around.
Thou shalt not covet anything a sibling gets. It’s not worth it; let it go.
Stay true to who you are and walk as straight a path as possible. Not only is immediate family watching, but your children and grandchildren as well. Set an excellent example.

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Don’t Let Parents Leave Without This!

September 27, 2013 | Julie Hall

It always puts a smile on my face when people email me to let me know they enjoy my writings. Sometimes I get great advice too. I heard from Mary, a lovely lady who works as a nurse in an Alzheimer’s Assisted Living facility. She enjoyed my book of checklists, “How to Clean Out Your Parents’ Estate in 30 Days or Less,” and thought of a few more things to add to the book.

How to Clean Out Your Parent’s Estate

She lived through this process with middle-aged children and elderly parents, and she knows what may be needed. Here are her recommendations:

A copy of a marriage certificate is necessary for most insurance policies.
Be sure you have on hand a birth certificate. If you don’t have it, order a couple of original copies from the state where they were born.
Documents for a cemetery plot or Neptune Society plans
Military discharge paperwork for burial in a veteran’s cemetery, or even to implement veteran’s benefits for medications or financial benefits toward long-term care. EXCELLENT POINT!
Has your loved one pre-chosen or pre-paid funeral home expenses? People die unexpectedly and often the family has no clue what was prepaid, where to bury them, or what their wishes were (cremation, laid to rest). As you may recall, both of my parents died rapidly. Thank goodness, we had all of their paperwork, including dad’s veteran papers.
Copies of will/trust and living will. Whether they do or do not want a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate), it has to be documented and you will need copies if you are suddenly faced with making life or death decisions. Dying without a will or in debt is not a good idea.
Medication disposal: Please dispose of medications in a lidded glass jar with coffee grounds or cat litter, and soap and water. Dissolve medication in that jar and then throw away. You can also contact your local pharmacy for their drug “take-back” program. Mary reminds me that many meds, like chemo drugs, can be especially toxic.

Thank you for these words of wisdom!

No part of The Estate Lady® blogs, whole or partial, may be used without Julie Hall’s written consent. Email her at Julie@TheEstateLady.com

Even the Devil Uses the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval®

September 4, 2013 | Julie Hall

Throughout the course of my career, I have worked my fanny off (like most of you) trying to accomplish my calling: make a positive contribution to the estate industry, educate, advocate and resolve difficult issues for my clients, earn an impeccable reputation, and do it all honestly and ethically. After 23 years, I feel pretty confident I have achieved many of my goals with the help of some great team members and my faith.

What makes me steaming mad are those individuals who flat out steal logos and intellectual property that is not theirs. No conscience, no care or concern. They don’t care that they steal what they didn’t earn. They do it with no forethought of hurting others, most especially themselves in the long run, because the truth will come out eventually. Those who know me would tell you I’d be the first to teach, to help, to answer questions if I can. Stealing information or logos is a huge no-no.

Many of you may not know that I own and direct The American Society of Estate Liquidators®. http://www.aselonline.com This professional organization is for those who want to learn the estate industry, and offers educational courses and a place for experienced liquidators to learn how to build their business. It is a safe haven for ethical liquidators and we have worked hard to set the standard for the industry.

The problem is some people don’t want to play nice. People steal logos without paying dues. Some don’t care about ethics until they get caught or fined. It’s not just about me … it’s about you too because many will attempt to take advantage of you, or someone you know, in the future. I often wonder how they sleep at night.

Here’s my point: Each industry has its good and bad, even estate liquidation. With companies that have no training/education or just popped up, and no one knows anything about them, you (the consumer) needs to research them carefully to make sure what their site says about them is accurate. Just because some company creates a website and add logos and makes claims, doesn’t mean they are legitimate or ethical. Follow up with them and pay attention to red flags.

Contact your local BBB and ask questions. Look for UNresolved complaints. Search online for the company name and any complaints or reviews. Ask for and check several recent references. Ask people in the community who is the best of the best. Do not be swayed by a company that is cheaper, for you often get what you pay for! Go for integrity, trust, ethics, gut instinct.

If the company is hesitant to answer questions, doesn’t call you back in a timely manner, doesn’t give you a polished and trustworthy feeling, then that little voice inside is probably telling you something. Listen to it.

So you see that even the devil uses the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval®. Anyone can steal that seal or logo. But not everyone can back it up with education, training, credibility, experience, and know-how. A professional liquidator is going to do the right thing for the client, answer any and all questions, maintain confidentiality, guide you to know what is best for your given situation, and communicate clearly each step of the way.

If you find out they are lying about being part of a professional organization, or anything else, don’t walk away … RUN!

An Estate is a Sitting Target

September 4, 2012 | Julie Hall

(Please send this to everyone you know is dealing with an estate.)

I just received yet another sad phone call. A client’s deceased father’s home was broken into and 90% of the estate is now gone. These thieves weren’t in any rush either. They came with a huge truck, left odds and ends in the yard, drank beer as evidenced by beer cans left around the home, and proceeded to rob this family without care, concern, conscience, or karma. Not only is she grieving, but now she has this to contend with as well. The contents of this estate were sitting, waiting for a long distance sibling to arrive in town to divide it with his sister.

The old phrase “sitting duck” applies here. It alludes to a duck floating on the water, not suspecting that it is the object of a hunter or predator. Let’s take a closer look at this situation, so we can avoid it in the future.

Since the beginning of man, there have been thieves. Through the millennia, man has stolen everything from other people held for ransom, to meat, to money, to gold, you name it. But take a good look at the state of our economy right now. Unscrupulous individuals, who feel entitled to take what others have rightfully earned and inherited, are moving in on the good side of man. They saw a house sitting, they made a plan, and they helped themselves. As times get tougher, we will see more of this.

Do you really think law enforcement is going to find these possessions? My guess is no — they are gone forever — slipping into flea markets, personal safes, sold cheap, etc. I’m not blaming the police, as they are overwhelmed with this sort of thing on a daily basis. In my opinion, it’s just the tip of the iceberg.

I’ve said it before in my writings and I’d like to offer the best advice. Don’t let the estate be a sitting duck. Deal with it in a timely manner, get professionals in there to help you, and get it done. The longer it sits, the more likely it will become a target.

With the permission of the executor (unless the executor already has done so), document and remove all the valuables from the home so they can be divided at a later date: sterling items and flatware, gold, jewelry, high-end electronics, expensive tools, etc. Keys/locks should be changed immediately upon learning of a death, because you don’t know everyone who has keys. Work through the estate and don’t delay! Don’t become one more ugly statistic, like this grieving woman who only did what she thought was right by waiting. Work closely with siblings, and find the time to meet to make decisions.

Literal Gold Diggers

May 28, 2012 | Julie Hall

When I think of a gold digger, my mind conjures up two images: 1) an 1800’s scruffy old man panning for gold, and 2) The Housewives of Beverly Hills, Atlanta, or wherever. In the old days, a gold digger was someone who ransacked the graveyards stealing gold from the deceased. In my world of estates, I see a different kind of gold digger; one that you won’t know exists until a loved one dies or takes seriously ill.

We see estates literally ransacked, like a bunch of coyotes rummaged through the place. Boxes that once sat neatly in the attic and closets are ripped open and left in a jumbled mess, opened with contents spilling out. Closets are left with clothes not on hangers, but in a huge heap on the floor! Kitchen cupboards are askew and I guarantee the silver is long gone. It would appear they left no stone unturned. Were they looking for gold, silver, or cold, hard cash?

What is this incessant need for people to take stuff and help themselves?

I call them Mr. Pilfer and Miss Pickpocket. They come in, often under cover of the darkness, and things disappear, never to be found again. Is it greed, the entitlement mentality, or just a lack of care and consideration for the memory of the loved one?

I have come to the conclusion, after talking with dozens of executors, that one of the problems is there are too many keys floating around. One of the first things I recommend is changing the locks to protect the contents until they are inventoried and/or valuated. Another thorn in the executor’s paw is that sometimes they will tell the family and extended members that “Uncle Joe was known for his cash stashes, guns, gold coins, etc.”

This just happened in the estate I was working in. The executor, thinking he was being honest and open with everyone, told the family there was cash in the house. You know what happened next? Ransack city.

Sometimes, the executor won’t even know there are valuables or cash, but other family members suspect there is money in the estate. It is the executor’s responsibility to protect what is in the estate! No one should go in until all is established and ready to be divided according to the will (if there is one). Hopefully, the executor is honest!

Moral of the story: Loose talk makes valuables walk.

When Your Loved One Dies

January 9, 2012 | Julie Hall

A parent or grandparent has just passed away, and you are responsible for their estate liquidation. What do you do? Here are the most important practical steps to take, as you begin this process.

Change the locks on the estate immediately to prevent unscrupulous heirs from entering. While this will ruffle some feathers, it is absolutely the right thing to do to protect the assets from disappearing — and they will.
Secure the valuables, jewelry, money, sterling, artwork, etc. in a safe deposit box (if the executor has a safe at home) or other secure location with the understanding that the storage is just temporary. Never leave valuables in a vacant home as it will become a target. Also, this is not an excuse for heirs to “help themselves.” The executor will need to take charge and remain firm.
Look for a cash stash. Many people, particularly seniors, tend to hide money in places you would never think to look. If memory impairment was evident, leave no stone unturned because valuable items can surface in the strangest places. But remember too, a loved one with dementia will also give things away.
Search for important papers: will/trust, tax documents, papers for house/car, deeds, any inventory or appraisals, anything with family history documented, life insurance documents, etc.
Hire a professional certified personal property appraiser who is well-respected in the community to review the contents of the estate and ascertain what has value vs. what doesn’t. The appraiser can also act as a consultant who can advise on the distribution of the contents. They should never offer to buy what they appraise; that’s a conflict of interest.
Knowing ahead of time if there will be contentious moments with heirs and if you suspect trouble, get that appraisal report and divide the estate as equitably as possible, unless the loved one left specific instructions otherwise.
High end personal property should always be sent to an upper-tier auction gallery. Have it professionally valuated to see which auction it should go to. If liquidating the estate and it contains good, usable contents and plenty of small items, antiques and collectibles, hire a professional estate liquidator. (www.ASELonline.com)
Whoever you choose to hire, investigate them first by contacting the BBB, ask and check professional references, and make sure their company is registered in the state. Not every company is as it seems. You want a pro you can trust.

“Are Co-Executors a Good Idea?”

May 16, 2011 | Julie Hall

Q: I have two grown daughters who get along well, and treat me with great care and respect. Now that my husband has passed away, I need to update my will. I am considering both my daughters to be co-executors. Is this a good idea or not, Julie? What do you suggest?

A. Have you ever noticed that there are those who are very good at making decisions and those who couldn’t make a decision if their life depended on it? While these are two extreme examples, everyone is somewhere between those two extremes – a mixed bag of opinions, emotions, thoughts, feelings, theories, etc. You never know what you’re going to get when you add different moods and personalities to the mix.

Even when you know someone very well, the tide can easily turn when one is grieving and handling an estate, which is a very stressful situation. The slow and steady brother suddenly rears up and causes strife which you did not expect. The quiet, reclusive sister becomes the chronic complainer to the point of estrangement. Another sister is refusing to move out of the home, causing major financial problems for the family. Finally, the long-lost baby brother no one has heard from in years surfaces, demanding his share.

One executor is difficult enough, for they can never make everyone happy and are always the target. Having co-executors is not often recommended by legal professionals for these reasons: differences of opinion, geographically remote from the location of the estate, one can easily cause trouble, the other can drag out the sale of the estate against the family’s wishes. You name it and I’ve seen it!

I think many people choose co-executors because they don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. In the end after they leave this earth, the hurt, pain, and grief that their decision has caused can be unbearable.

Bottom line: Think long and hard before assigning co-executors. It may be best to assign this role to someone who is completely objective, rather than either of your daughters.

Beware of “CASH PAID FOR” Ads

February 7, 2011 | Julie Hall

It feels like the personal property world has gone a little bonkers. We have cable shows that demonstrate how to pick and make money off others who do not know the worth of their items, leaving the client feeling taken advantage of. We have people in the industry who are purchasing from their own estates. We have people who have lost their jobs and created overnight “estate liquidation specialist” companies, even though they have little experience.

Seller, BEWARE and BE CAREFUL. Use your scruples. Research the company through the Better Business Bureau, local colleagues, and professional organizations. Make sure you are dealing with someone who is recommended and is a trained professional.

I have long written and spoken on the importance of knowing what you have before you sell it, and that applies in today’s economy more than ever, when everyone is trying to make a buck off you!

Please don’t misinterpret my words. There are many estate experts out there who are truly outstanding at what they do, and ethical too! Even those who purchase from their estates, many are very fair. But like any other occupation, there are those who are not. The good ones are getting harder to find and are worth their weight in gold.

Everywhere in local papers you see, “Cash paid for antiques, collectibles, military items, etc.” Here’s my questions to you, the seller. How do you know that buyer offering cash isn’t offering you pennies on the dollar? How do you know that item he or she is offering $400 for is worth $20,000? Are you too eager? Are they sending red flags like “I’ll take it off your hands?”

Stick to your guns until you know what you are dealing with first, but you too must be fair. If an item appraises at $500, know you will not get that amount and it is unreasonable to expect that you would. Only the exceptional items are selling well in this market.

The majority of true collectors are pretty reasonable and have a tendency to offer a fair amount for an item. But someone who is in it to turn around and make money off the item(s) will often low-ball (not always, but they will try to increase their profit margin).

It is always worth getting a professional opinion, even if it costs a little bit — consider it a small insurance policy!