Simplify stuff now

In Search of Sanity

| Julie Hall

We have way too much stuff!

Everybody collects something.  It’s exciting when you find a special piece you’ve been seeking for years.  When the word gets out that you collect cats, suddenly everyone buys you cats.  Metal, porcelain, plastic – it doesn’t matter – you get tons of them whether you want them or not.

Let us not forget that we inherit items along the way too, tripling (or more) what we already have.  Next thing you know, our homes are busting at the seams, our spouses are griping because of all the clutter.  Our children have let us know, in no uncertain terms, that they want nothing other than a ride to IKEA or cash, so they can buy what they want.

We’re facing a major problem in this country as our seniors and boomers age and pass away.  We just have too much stuff.  More is finding its’ way to the market everyday as boomers are getting the message to simplify their lives and let go of things that bog them down.

This simplification process has brought to the marketplace experts such as professional organizers, senior move managers, stagers, and estate experts.  Look for professionals who are trained, have credentials, belong to professional organizations, and have experience.

As we make our way through our parents’ belongings, we also have to contend with our stuff at the same time.  Learn to let go, and keep the next generation in mind as you are doing so.  They certainly don’t want much and they won’t change their minds.  As a client recently told me, “I’ll take photos of the items before I sell them.  The photos take up less space!”

© 2011 Julie Hall

“Oh, I’ll Get to it One Day.”

| Julie Hall

The trouble is … “one day” never comes!

It’s fascinating what we professionals notice in our clients’ estates.  For example, we do see a distinct similarity in almost all of the estates we go into, especially if the estate belonged to an elderly loved one from the Depression Era.  The attics are usually full and the interesting thing is that 85% of them are full of things that really should have been disposed of 30+ years ago.

By the time we get into these attics to clear them out, the books are rotted and have been gnawed on, anything cardboard has pretty much disintegrated, clothing either smells like mildew or falls apart in your hands, or you find items that have long since been obsolete and no one has any use for them.  If items of value were stored in the attic (which is a big no-no), chances are pretty good they have been damaged and the value greatly diminished.  This is not always the case, but is generally what we find.

My assistant has a saying when we are working in the daunting attics, up to our elbows in stuff: “They were young when they put this stuff up there.  By the time they finally figure out it has to be dealt with, they are 85 years old and can’t get up here anymore.”

So true.  Time stops for no man and it does move rather quickly.  We all have the best intentions of cleaning out the shed, garage, closets, cupboards … but if you continue to procrastinate and something happens where you or your loved one become incapacitated, it truly leaves a burden for the ones you leave behind.  A bigger burden than you realize.

If you have had your sights on a project around the house which includes clearing out some “stuff,” make sure you know what it is worth before you sell it or give it away.  It is better to clear out the clutter now so you can feel better about it and not worry.  Believe me, your loved ones will really appreciate it one day. 

JUST DO IT!

© 2011 Julie Hall

5 Promises to Yourself in 2011

| Julie Hall

Happy New Year!

These days, it appears increasingly difficult to stay on the level emotionally.  So much comes at us that it’s depressing to turn on the TV.  To combat this heaviness that many feel, I have 5 suggestions to make us feel more buoyant this year.  Please share them with your family and friends, since we all need to support one another.

  1. Let It Go!  Let go of anything that weighs you down.  Surplus material possessions and stuff that no longer has meaning, people and relationships that are toxic, clean out that closet and give to those in need, etc.  Just let go!  You will immediately feel lighter, and more open space will provide an uplift in your spirit.
  2. If something you tried last year didn’t work out, keep trying different ways until it does work.  As the old saying goes, “there is more than one way to skin a cat.”  Try again in different ways; ask close friends or colleagues what they would do.  Valued opinions and objective third parties may very well be the sounding board you need or provide you with the brilliant idea that works.
  3. Broaden your horizons.  No more excuses!  Take that pottery class, dance class, go to that place you’ve always wanted to see, train for a marathon, volunteer, lose weight, etc.  Just do it!  Spend some time on YOU.
  4. Practice appreciation.  Open your eyes and look for the simple pleasures in your life.  Put forth a little effort to “see” the good in the world.  Sometimes you need to go for a walk and admire the birds, look at the sky, and take some deep breaths.  A survey of centenarians (over 100 years old) shows they attribute their longevity to simple pleasures like walking barefoot, watering their garden, swimming, etc.
  5. Train your brain to think positively.  Yes, there is alot wrong with the world today, but there is still much good in it.  Go forth, do good things, be a good person, and try to make a difference for others.  The rewards are far greater than you know!  It comes back to you, and it will give you a strong sense of purpose in the new year.

© 2011 Julie Hall

Christmas is over … Now what?

| Julie Hall

Christmas is over, and you’ve dragged all the wrappings to the trash can.  Now what?  Maybe you got what you wanted … maybe you got too much.

Things do bring instant gratification, but not long-lasting happiness. So, we keep buying more things to keep feeling good.  If your Christmas happiness has been replaced with that let-down feeling, consider the following suggestions.

Too many of us fill our lives with things to ease unresolved pain and issues. As we continue to go out there and buy ourselves the latest electronic gadget, we are still left unfulfilled and discontented. We buy to feel good. We buy because we deserve it. We buy because we are depressed. But in the long run, each item ends up in the hands of family or a professional to sell it.

There are some who believe “He who dies with the most toys wins.” There are others who feel “He who dies with the most toys, dies anyway.” So what should we do?

** Dress the less fortunate by going through your clothing, shoes, etc. Do the same for the food in your pantry.

** Head into your attic and garage and start clutter-busting. So many things we have are not being used — and can be used by someone who needs them. Find those organizations and give them away.

** Start practicing the art of giving, and refrain from unnecessary purchases for at least six months.

** A cluttered house is often reflective of a cluttered life. Do yourself and your family a favor and clear out while you can, and help others in the process. The end result is a long-lasting and satisfied feeling.

Here’s to a healthy and happy New Year for you!

© 2010 Julie Hall

7 Estate Tips for You This Fall

| Julie Hall

Now that school is back in session and Labor Day is over, it’s time for us all to get back into our routines which we abandoned in the heat of the summer.  Here are 7 tips that I want you to add to your routine this fall and winter.

  1. Make sure you and your spouse have a Will/Trust/legal documents.  Better than 50% of us don’t have one, leaving our heirs to fight and “guess” our wishes and intentions.  Dissolving an estate is not the time for guesswork
  2. Make sure someone knows the location of these legal and other important papers, such as life insurance, financial information, as well as computer passwords and keys to safe deposit box.
  3. Simplify your estate by starting to get rid of your own stuff now.  Clean out the garage, attic, and closets — we have too much stuff!  By doing this now, your kids won’t be angry with you later for leaving them a big mess.  We  only use the same 20% of what we have anyway … Reduce!
  4. If something new comes into the house, two things have to exit, whether it be for charity, selling it, etc.  Avoid the clutter that comes from constant buying.  Think “simple and easy.”
  5. Have that courageous conversation with your spouse or children (if they are old enough).  Tell them your wishes for the future, then go the distance and document all this so they have a guidance system when the time comes.
  6. Consider gifting heirlooms and other important items while you are still living.  This minimizes future fighting, and you have the joy of seeing the recipient’s face when they receive their gift.
  7. Always hire a personal property appraiser for items of value in your own home or your loved one’s estate.  Only then can equitable distribution take place.

Next week, I’ll give you 6 tips for your parents’ estates.

© 2010 Julie Hall

Think Before You Throw – How to GO GREEN When Clearing Out an Estate

| Julie Hall

Do it for the earth and do it for your pocket! 

Donating, recycling, and selling are less expensive than a dumpster and may provide cash for your unwanted items.  They may also provide a tax deduction or help out a worthy cause.  Use your imagination when deciding where things could go, other than black trash bags!  Can someone use your items in some form or fashion?  This is the ultimate in recycling. 

Remember the following when cleaning out estates:

  • Have the neighbors in for free household chemicals, garden/yard tools, etc.
  • Create a donation network by discussing what you have to give.
  • Keep watch for charity drives in your community.  Typically, TV and newspapers will run donation requests during the holiday season.
  • Web search for places to sell or donate items.
  • Gazelle.com, venjuvo.com, techforward.com and myboneyard.com all offer varying amounts of compensation for electronics.
  • Mygreenelectronics.com tells you where to find nearby recycling centers for electronics.
  • Paper, cardboard, and scrap metal are commodities that are traded.  Find a buyer in your local phone book.
  • Scrap metal and other household metals, photo frames, etc. are wanted by artists.  (If you take scrap metal to the right place, you can end up with some $$$ in your wallet.)
  • Charities are in a funding crisis; paper, books, games and toys help daycares, senior centers and after-school programs.  Give them a call; they are happy to give you a wish list.
  • Alzheimer’s facilities are always looking for clean linens, towels, etc.
  • Many religious organizations/groups set up homes for refugees, domestic abuse victims, pregnant women, disabled adults, etc.  They need many everyday items that you need to dispose.
  • Inventory the home before buying materials.  Garbage bags, boxes, and cleaning supplies are normally already in the house.
  • Worn sheets and towels, leashes and pet bowls are very much needed by local pet shelters.
  • Remember, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure!

With my prediction of millions of households being liquidated in the next few decades, the very thought of the amount of trash the U.S. will generate is mind boggling.  Do your part to help!

© 2010 Julie Hall

“Mom and Dad Left Us a Mess!”

| Julie Hall

Q: My mother died a few months ago and I am completely overwhelmed with the accumulated mess she left behind.  Though I tried to offer help on many occasions through the years, she would hear no part of clearing out her stuff.  I spend most of my days in tears, resentful that she left me this mess, squeezed between my family, my job, and her affairs.  Do you have any advice for me to handle this daunting task?  Can you at least tell others not to do this to their children?

A:  You have touched upon one of the most important aspects of my work and of my public speaking.  In my work, I deal with children every day who are flying in and out of town, trying to handle parents’ estates.  The “Sandwich Generation” is caught between caring for our parents and our children, with not enough of us to go around, especially when geographically remote from either parents or children.

When I speak, I talk openly about accumulation, what to do about it, how to begin thinning out your stuff, or get rid of it altogether.  Evaluation is the first step in any estate settlement process.  Children are often in a crisis mode and don’t know where to begin this daunting task.  Finding a company or person you can trust to help you understand the values of your parents’ personal property is paramount.

Once you are armed with that information, you are better able to decide what can be thrown out, what can be donated, what to keep, etc.  Remember that knowledge is power.  If you do not possess the knowledge to make these decisions, find a professional who does and can offer you objective information.  This professional can also help you sell items of value, and clear out the estate.  These services are especially valuable if you live out of town and have limited time to spend handling the estate.

Often I find my older clients have massive accumulations in their attic, closets, basement, and garage.  The reasons are numerous and not always understandable.  My guess is that they don’t know how to handle the accumulations either.

All too often, I sit beside a child whose parent has just died; they are angry that mom or dad left this mess, and they are grieving too.  This becomes a double blow to their heart and spirit.  If parents could see what I see, they wouldn’t do this to their children.  How would you like to be remembered?

© 2010 Julie Hall

Why You Should Never Keep Things in the Attic

| Julie Hall

After cleaning out estates for almost 20 years, my assistant and I have a saying I’d like to share: “People shouldn’t put stuff in attics.  They’re young when they put it up there, and when they finally think about cleaning it out, they are too old.”  Somewhat comical, it holds a ring of truth as well.  I’ve seen so many attics in my lifetime; I can predict with 98% accuracy what’s up there and the position it is placed in!

It’s pretty amazing to consider that the majority of people you know have full attics.  What’s even more amazing is that 90% of what is in the attic is no longer usable; it can’t even be donated anymore because it has passed its’ expiration date!  Some people store clothing, floral arrangements, cardboard boxes they think they will use again, lawn furniture, electronics that for whatever reason no longer performed well, or they were broken altogether.  So I must ask the question, “If they didn’t work then, why were they stored in the attic for 40 years?”  Why weren’t they just discarded to begin with?  Herein lies one difference between the generations. 

The younger Boomers, Generation X and Y, do not want clutter or anything that is considered garbage laying around the house.  It simply doesn’t belong there if it can’t be used or enjoyed.

Your attic is a breeding ground for critters: furry, slithery, creepy-crawly, and little un-named things in the dark that gnaw and poop, often at the same time.  Clothing get eaten or rot, any kind of plastic will become brittle, dolls’ faces decompose, quilts disintegrate, old trains rust, furs fall apart, cardboard flakes in your hands, and old electronics that were obsolete then are still obsolete.

Let’s not forget the smell!!  You know the smell I am referring to — that mildewy, mold-like stench that refuses to dissipate and only irritates your respiratory system from the moment you step into the attic.

I believe the original intent of attics was simply to hold things like luggage and some Christmas decorations.  But if the hundreds, maybe thousands of attics I have stepped into are any indication, we treat them as another home that simply holds things we are too tired to deal with.  So we keep stuffing it up there, where no one goes to look.  You know the old saying: “Out of sight, out of mind.”  That might be so … until you pass away and your loved ones need to empty it in the midst of grieving.

Use the Estate Lady’s rule of thumb: If you haven’t used it, haven’t seen it, or had no need for it in 6 – 12 months, let go of it!  It will only be a burden to someone else one day!

© 2010 Julie Hall

“Spring Cleaning” with a Purpose

| Julie Hall

It’s that time of year when most of us feel obligated to do “spring cleaning”.  At least we attempt to clean windows, wash curtains, clean out the garden shed, and other tasks we dislike doing the rest of the year.  Give your cleaning a purpose this year, and see if it puts an optimistic outlook on this annual routine.

This year, consider what you can give to someone who has a need.  Not just the ugly Christmas gift from Aunt Edna, but look around for those things that you never use.  With continued economic challenges facing families, used items (in good condition) are in such demand.  Charities are stretched to meet extreme needs with very limited resources.

Meanwhile, we have garages full of “stuff” that we don’t really need, but we aren’t willing to part with, or we don’t know where to donate.  Make some calls to churches, local community charities, local shelters.  Did you know that Shriners collect old eyeglasses?  Do you realize that many shelters can use bed sheets and towels, or that local veterinarians often can use towels?  Have you got some books and magazines that the folks at the retirement center would enjoy? 

Here’s a list to help you decide what can be donated:

  • clothing of all kinds: shoes, coats, suits, dresses
  • linens, towels, bed sheets
  • older upholstered or wood furniture: sofas, chairs, bookcases
  • electronics, computers, telephones
  • non-perishable food, if before the expiration date (to shelters or food banks)
  • tools and equipment
  • kitchenware
  • craft supplies
  • durable medical equipment: wheelchairs, walkers, canes
  • prescription eye glasses
  • office equipment and supplies
  • books and magazines
  • toys your children outgrow

Start clearing out those things that you don’t use; now you have a purpose and a plan.  As for washing the windows, sorry, you’re on your own for that task!

© 2010 Julie Hall

The Art of Procrastination

| Julie Hall

Why do some procrastinate when dealing with death, caregiving, and other challenging issues?  That is the million-dollar question!

Some of us are exceptionally good at doing things and tending to every imaginable task, like it or not.  Some of us are followers that are very good at taking direction from the doers.  Still, others are extremely skilled at procrastination and avoiding the elephant in the room, even if it must be dealt with.

In my 20 year professional quest for the answer to procrastination, I am reminded of an image we have all seen in old “spaghetti westerns”, the old cowboy pushing and cursing at his stubborn donkey to get up and go!  The same is true for our clients, relatives, and friends.  Never is it more unnerving than when you are trying to settle an estate, handle issues related to an illness or the death of a loved one, and the decision maker is — dare I say it — a procrastinator.

Why do some procrastinate? 

First, they don’t have the ability to, or simply can’t, deal with the issue at hand.  Perhaps it is too emotional, or they are just indecisive people to begin with and tackle all life’s issues in this manner.

Second, they simply don’t want to handle this issue.  Often, but not always, these personality types ill allow people who are doers to come in and take over the reins (literally).  With people like this, I always map out a plan — here’s what happens first, second, etc.  They like to know what is going on, but don’t necessarily desire to be a part of the process.

Third, why deal with it today when I don’t have to?  There’s not much I can say about this type.  I have seen many unexpected deaths in my line of work, and to me, there’s no time like the present.  Why put it off when it has to be done anyway?  Just do it!

There is no known cure for procrastination.  One would think that time and experience would teach people not to put things off.  Since the beginning of time, people have put things off because they didn’t want to think or act.  That’s why so many people perish without having even a basic will, let alone having many other vital issues discussed and planned out. 

Procrastination is a bad word.  Planning, while you are in control and have your say, is a beautiful gift to everyone around you!

“Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.”  ~~Napoleon Hill

© 2010 Julie Hall